Every store you go into, you’re going to find a discount section.
Items with up coming expiration dates, broken or damaged items, last seasons clothes, and misfit items forgotten by the world.
I browse these sections and occasionally find something worth taking home. My current decorative bowl on my dining table is from TJ Maxx and had a small chip on the corner of it that is hardly noticeable.
I never expect to get a perfect product when I buy it from that discounted section of the store. I knew the bowl was chipped. I bought it anyway. Score!
When throwing money at things, we want to get what we pay for. Why would someone pay full price for a set of wine glasses missing a glass? Or a wall coat rack that is missing a hook? Unless they already are okay with what they are getting, of course.
That red sticker indicating it is a sale price is a good way to know you get what you pay for and it is already reduced in price and may be damaged.
In the real world, humans do not come with red stickers indicating they are broken or damaged.
We are clueless as to what we are getting up front.
We extend ourselves to others, as a friend, family member or lover and expect a full return of what we equally give them.
That’s not how it works.
We drain ourselves into our relationships and spend all of our hearts only to be unknowingly paying full price and receiving only half price love.
Relationships are not easy in any capacity or in any type. Family, friends, lovers, etc.
They blow you off for other people or other plans, they only come to you when they need something, they dismiss you as less important, they do not listen to you or take your feelings into consideration, they act like they support you to your face but then change their narrative once they are not around you.
Friends who supported me, then turned on me without a word despite me trying to reach out to them. Family that disappeared and seemingly want nothing to do with me and do not have the balls to talk to me despite my trying to reach out to them.
Those who slowly drifted away and would make plans, never show up, and I’ve gotten the excuse “When you meet the one you want to marry, you’ll understand.” (Mind you, he/she cheated on her/him several times and now they are broken up and with other people!). So, I guess he/she was just a shitty friend.
I’ve had people that supported my decisions in something, then lied to others saying they never supported me and advised me against it, then made fools of themselves by their own texts that prove they actually did support me in the first place. They back stabbed everyone, talked constant shit about everyone, started drama among their friends and I thought I could trust them? Well, family or not, they tricked me. I also lost one of my favorite people because of this. I miss being his friend.
Or if you tell someone you love them only for them to tell you they are annoyed by you and to stop telling them you love them. Be nice, do things for them, only to receive anger and indifference. Half price love.
People are cowards to the point they cannot even return a text or phone call. They shy away from conflict when they are confronted by you or they react in anger or confusion or they will not even hear your perspective.
I learned the hard way, over and over again, that giving your all doesn’t always mean you will get anything back. These fake friends do not deserve you!!!
Paying full price for half price love only leaves you on empty.
I’ve since learned a few things to look out for to detect a possible half price human...
1. What they have to say about their current friends and family. Are they positive? Or do they only complain about them/talk negatively with no real merit?
2. How do they handle tough situations? Examples: Wrong order at a restaurant, someone cuts them off in traffic, work stress, disagreements with opposing opinions). Are they understanding or do they think everyone besides them is stupid?
3. Communication: how do they handle you telling them something that bothers you? Do they tell you if you do something that bothers them? Are they willing to listen and work with you to solve the issue?
4. Are they focused on the problem or do they focus on a solution? You need someone willing to make things better in your life, not constantly bring you down.
5. Do their actions match up with their words? Are they realistic? If someone SHOWS you who they are, believe them. Don’t be so forgiving that you allow them to mistreat you.
6. How do they handle criticism and how do they handle compliments? Responding with anger or always boasting is not a good sign.
These are all great questions ask yourself when dealing with someone and you aren’t quite sure if they will be a good person to be in your life or not.
Do not have expectations from someone who has not shown you who they are as a person.
People do not know what you expect or what you want so it is good to get that out in the open in the beginning of any friendship/relationship.
Remember, they owe you nothing! You owe them nothing. It is a difficult mindset to keep but it is important to remember this. I also learned this the hard way.
Through therapy and my own self-growth in the past year, I have learned to use these questions and be more aware of how others are acting towards me, talking to me and their consistency with me.
It is not just about me being a good friend. They also have to be a good friend in return.
My current friendships and relationships are filled with people who I have the highest respect for… They are honest, real, trustworthy, always there when I need them. They show up. They keep their word.
I also do my best to be reliable and good to them.
We tell each other if we bother each other or hurt each other’s feelings. And we do better. I cornered my now ex co-worker (still great friend though!) in the work break room one time because she was acting shady. She hugged me and we chatted. You do things like that for people you care about; you don’t just let it go unattended.
Another friend went through a very hard time. She kept her distance but I made sure to check in with her reminding her I was there. Now she is feeling better and came back around and talking more like she used to. It is all about understanding and love.
One friend, I can call and tell her she’s being crazy and she will say “thank you” and calm down. Friends that ask how I’m doing and actually give a damn. I have close friends that live across the county and we still pick up like we haven’t missed a beat when we talk. Mutual love, respect and care.
As far as relationships and dating, I try to be as up front and honest as possible. I guess I’ll learn as I go along and do my best since I haven’t had a real, healthy relationship yet. I am excited to use what I have learned and hope to find someone that is willing to put up with me! I’m told I can be a bit “much”…
Trust is not something that has to give it all at once to someone. It is okay to give them a little at a time and build up to the full amount. They have to earn it. I used to struggle with this and sometimes have to catch myself giving too much. If that trust is ever broken, and you want to keep that person in your life, trust can be rebuilt by watching their words and actions. Keep in mind, you have to want it. You only know what your emotional maturity can handle.
When someone disappoints me or does me wrong, that is their problem. As someone who meant a lot to me once told me “People come and they leave. Not all of them are meant to stay.” It shows their character. Not mine. It hurts but I do not let it put out my fire or dull my energy. I hold no grudges against those who have done me wrong and I also will not waste my energy worrying about them. Good vibes and positive energy.
We may not control the universe or other people but we control how we react to it all. We are humans. We make mistakes.. and when we do something wrong, we have ownership over ourselves and how we handle it, no one else can define us.
And once we have total ownership and security in ourselves, no one, and I mean no one can disrupt that or interrupt our flow.
You deserve full price love. You deserve friends who will be real with you. You deserve people who will love you and treat you with kindness and respect. You deserve a man or woman who truly wants you and is willing to stand up and do whatever it takes for you.
Do not settle for less.
“I Don’t Care” – Fall Out Boy
“Say my name, and his in the same breath,
I dare you to say they taste the same,
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames
Erase myself and let go,
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don’t love you
They just love the hotel suites, now!”